Comments on: Stuck in the Middle http://parentalsplit.com/2006/03/24/stuck-in-the-middle/ help for adult children of divorcing boomers. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:55:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: deebee http://parentalsplit.com/2006/03/24/stuck-in-the-middle/#comment-4 deebee Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:42:41 +0000 http://www.parentalsplit.com/2006/03/24/stuck-in-the-middle/#comment-4 I like the idea of the poster in the Guest Bedroom! That would be very handy indeed! I like the idea of the poster in the Guest Bedroom! That would be very handy indeed!

]]> By: J. Smith http://parentalsplit.com/2006/03/24/stuck-in-the-middle/#comment-3 J. Smith Sat, 25 Mar 2006 06:06:45 +0000 http://www.parentalsplit.com/2006/03/24/stuck-in-the-middle/#comment-3 Those rules are great and will come in handy. Do you think a wallet size card for each would do? Or maybe a poster in the guest bedroom? You know, as a reminder. Those rules are great and will come in handy. Do you think a wallet size card for each would do? Or maybe a poster in the guest bedroom? You know, as a reminder.

]]> By: deebee http://parentalsplit.com/2006/03/24/stuck-in-the-middle/#comment-2 deebee Sat, 25 Mar 2006 00:42:30 +0000 http://www.parentalsplit.com/2006/03/24/stuck-in-the-middle/#comment-2 I know what you mean...my parents split up not once, but twice after I was married. And it was not a pretty sight...I was the one in the middle, the person that got blamed by both sides and relatives on every side, and I totally understand what you mean by saying that you can't be neutral or a steam shaft! I had to lay ground rules: 1. no fighting in my house...if my kids can't neither can you be that nasty to each other 2. no you cannot call me and tell me what the other person did wrong. I do not want to hear. 3. I will not lie to my children about what you are doing or not doing. They deserve to know the truth. 4. If I call long distance and you start to 'use' me to air dirty laundry, I will hang up. 5. I cannot fix it and I no longer feel responsible for your happiness. If you choose to be miserable, so be it. Sounds harsh I know, but survival is of the essence! ;-) I know what you mean…my parents split up not once, but twice after I was married. And it was not a pretty sight…I was the one in the middle, the person that got blamed by both sides and relatives on every side, and I totally understand what you mean by saying that you can’t be neutral or a steam shaft!

I had to lay ground rules:
1. no fighting in my house…if my kids can’t neither can you be that nasty to each other

2. no you cannot call me and tell me what the other person did wrong. I do not want to hear.

3. I will not lie to my children about what you are doing or not doing. They deserve to know the truth.

4. If I call long distance and you start to ‘use’ me to air dirty laundry, I will hang up.

5. I cannot fix it and I no longer feel responsible for your happiness. If you choose to be miserable, so be it.

Sounds harsh I know, but survival is of the essence! ;-)

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